And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

NASCAR fans are a passionate lot, make no mistake about it. The vast majority of us have a favorite driver, and we are fiercely loyal to that driver, the team he drives for and the company that sponsors him. You've probably seen the slogan (or variations of it), "NASCAR, not a sport, but a way of life", and how can anyone argue with that since our shopping habits are dictated by the guy we root for on race day?

Not only do we buy the products produced or sold by our drivers' sponsors, but we'll go so far as to refuse to even think about buying something from a competitor. Faced with a clogged toilet, a Tony Stewart fan would pee in the trash can before he'd buy a plunger from Lowe's, and a Dale Jarrett fan would probably seriously consider walking cross-country to hand deliver a package before using FedEx (especially considering the fact that FedEx's representative on the track usually finds himself in a wadded up mess).

A Rusty Wallace fan would drink sewer water before he'd drink anything but Miller Lite (although some people will argue that the sewer water would probably taste better), a Jamie McMurray fan will push his car home before stopping at Shell, and no true Elliott Sadler fan would ever even think of eating a Reeses' Piece(s). Greg Biffle fans have absolutely no use for Quizno's, and if you ever see a Casey Mears fan shopping at Wal-Mart, it's a pretty safe bet that he's recently suffered a sharp blow to the head and doesn't know where he is (although it'll be tough to pick him out of the crowd since most of the people shopping there match that description). A Matt Kenseth fan will chew his way through a board before using anything but DeWalt tools and, on a totally unrelated note, the odds of a Mike Bliss fan using AOL are the same as the odds of Mike Bliss actually having a fan - net zero.

You'll never see a Michael Waltrip fan at Advance Auto Parts, and you'll never see a Dale Earnhardt Jr fan drink anything but Bud (if only because the empty Bud cans have been proven - by Dale Jr's fans - to be quite easy to throw onto a track). A Kurt Busch fan (Crown Royal) would never think of touching a drop of Southern Comfort (which is a wise decision, fan or not), a Robby Gordon fan would deal with the chafing from his Levi's before wearing Hanes underwear and a Carl Edwards fan would jot notes on his stomach (the fan's stomach, not Carl's) before going to Staples to buy Post-Its.

We are definitely a loyal lot, and any company that chooses to sponsor our favorite drivers will always be able to count on us spending our money on its products and services, even if it means driving a few hundred miles out of our way.

Oh, and for anyone that was waiting for a Mark Martin reference, there wasn't a chance in hell I was gonna go there.